If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
