He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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