Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
