Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
