what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Randomize
