i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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