Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
