She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Randomize
