And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
