I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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