it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
