I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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