so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
