mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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