I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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