Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
