first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
