i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
