My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
