It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
