It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
