I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
