Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
