New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
it glows. i had to have it.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
