Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
