oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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