doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
