i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
