Whod you bang
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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