OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
