The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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