I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
