I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
