Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
