It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
