Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
