every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
