i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
