Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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