My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
