jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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