it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
