It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
