You're completely useless in the revolution.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
