I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
