we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
