i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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