there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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