I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
birth control should be required to get into college
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
