It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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