I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Let's get the cat blown out
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