Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
whose parrot is this?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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